Part 1: "The Ereevicator"

Bearing the most striking physical resemblance to the late Christopher Reeve, the Ereevicator has quickly leapt to the forefront of stem cell research advocacy, garnering a reputation for both his tireless campaigning and his sometimes shockingly hard-line tactics. 

The most outspoken of the four Reeves first burst into public view three weeks ago at a press conference held in Washington D.C.  The Capitol Hill event, hosted by Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan), was intended to promote political opposition to embryonic stem cell research, but took a sharp turn when a mysterious figure leapt to the podium.  The tall, handsome stranger, glowering behind a pair of wraparound sunglasses, seized the microphone from septuagenarian Cardinal William Keeler, chairman of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee for Pro-Life Activities.


"The Ereevicator" lends his support to a pro-choice rally in Washington D.C.
Said one conference attendee, “I was shocked when a man who appeared to be Christopher Reeve in his prime got up there, pushed Cardinal Keeler over, and stole his microphone.  I was even more surprised when he told us all that our arcane superstition was standing in the way of human progress.  Then he just went crazy, yelling and throwing stuff.  I got out of there pretty quick after that.  I’m not really sure what else happened.”  Reports remain sketchy, but it has been confirmed that after the ensuing chaos 12 people were sent to the hospital with injuries ranging from bruises to multiple fractures.

Three days later the Ereevicator appeared at a rally outside an abortion clinic in Eugene, Oregon, where he single-handedly broke up the protest.  Gerald Longacre, one of the protesters, commented, “All of a sudden there was this booming voice that said ‘Join the crusade of science or perish in obsolescence.’  It was pretty intense.  I mean, I knew Christopher Reeve was in pretty good shape back in the day, but that dude threw a car at us.”  Indeed, video footage captured by a local news team clearly shows the Ereevicator engaged in numerous feats of superhuman strength as he scatters the crowd.  At one point he appears to emit a concussive blast of energy from one of his hands.

In the weeks following his dramatic appearance, the Ereevicator has garnered a great deal of media attention.  The name “Ereevicator,” in fact, comes from a particularly enthusiastic New York Post headline that ran the day after the rally in Eugene.  (Truth be told, we at Team Atrox find the name to be rather sensationalistic, but no successful alternative has been suggested.)  The Ereevicator himself remains characteristically cryptic when questioned about his past or identity.  Single-minded in his cause, in most interviews the stony-faced advocate refuses to answer questions not related to stem cell research.  During a June 22nd interview, The Today Show’s Matt Lauer demanded “Are you the true Christopher Reeve?”  The Ereevicator answered only,  “I am all Reeves and no Reeve.  The Alpha and the Omega.  Ego!  Personal identity!  These churlish notions are meaningless compared to the ceaseless advance of medical technology.”

Some have denounced The Ereevicator as an impostor, including renowned actress (and longtime friend of the Reeve family) Jane Seymour.  In an open letter to The Times of London, Seymour pronounced, “I have spoken to this so-called ‘Ereevicator’ on a few occasions, and I can say without question that this man is not Chris.  Chris was a warm and loving man, not a steely-eyed automaton.  Also, this man wears his sunglasses all the time, even indoors.  Chris would have considered that rude.”

Indeed, The Ereevicator does seem to wear protective eyewear whenever he appears in public.  Some have speculated that this is a form of evasion, indicating that the Ereevicator does not have the courage to stand behind his convictions without some sort of shielding from the outside world.  Others note that The Ereevicator’s eyes may simply be hypersensitive to light.  The Ereevicator remains mum on the issue.

Despite The Ereevicator’s evasiveness, there are those who have stepped forward to endorse The Ereevicator as their candidate for the true Christopher Reeve.  Among them is actor and frequent Reeve co-star, Sir Michael Caine. 

In a recent press junket interview with entertainment journalist Byron Allen, Caine admitted, “I like his style.  He’s not afraid to give them the old one-two.  Reminds me of me a long time ago.”  (Caine’s filmography includes iconic “tough guy” roles like The Italian Job’s Charlie Croker and the titular Cockney bruiser in Get Carter.) 


Sir Michael Caine shows off "the old one-two" in a 1965 photo.
“Back in the ‘60s Terrance Stamp and Vidal Sassoon and I used to go down to the bus stop and beat up Tories.  Other times we’d just stare them down.  You’ll notice that the Ereevicator almost never blinks.” 

Caine noted that he chose to endorse The Ereevicator after the solitary replicant granted Caine a rare personal visit.  The two met for tea at Stephano’s, a popular West End eatery.  According to sources close to the actor, The Ereevicator only agreed to the sit-down after reportedly renting the abortion rights drama The Cider House Rules, for which Caine won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 2000. 

For more information regaurding The Ereevicator, please see our Rumors page.

Tomorrow, Part 2: The Reeve of Steel

 

Introduction • Part 2: The Reeve of Steel • Part 3: Boy Reeve • Part 4: Cyborg Reeve • Rumors